Collaboration: Navigating the Journey from Polite to Profound

Collaboration: Navigating the Journey from Polite to Profound

Real collaboration is rarely a straight line from a problem to a solution. It is a messy, non-linear journey that requires us to move away from "business as usual". As a collaboration guide, understanding the topography of this journey is your most powerful tool. It allows you to normalize the inevitable friction and help your group navigate the turbulence of combining diverse worldviews. Using the Groan Zone is a powerful tool to help both normalize friction and navigate through it.

When you understand the Groan Zone, you stop panicking when things get difficult. Instead, you recognize that the confusion is a necessary step toward a breakthrough. Here is how the journey unfolds and how you can guide your partners through it.

1. The Divergent Zone: Opening Up

The "Honeymoon" Phase: The process begins on the far left of the model with a core "Problem or Question". In this initial stage, the group moves outward, expanding the "Diversity of Ideas".

• What is happening: This is the time for information gathering and brainstorming. The goal is to get every perspective on the table. We are demonstrating a commitment to "recognizing and respecting individual difference and to building on divergent values and approaches".

• The dynamic: It is usually polite, energetic, and optimistic. Participants are often on their best behaviour, willing to share "knowledge and expertise among the group".

• The Collaboration Guide’s Role: Your job here is to ensure true diversity is represented. You are encouraging open "dialogue ('conversations')" rather than debate. You want to ensure that "differences of viewpoint are seen as central to the process and not a diversion".

2. The Groan Zone: The Messy Middle

The "Emergent" Phase: As the diamond widens to its peak, we enter the centre section labelled "Emergent". The diagram depicts this area with rough, jagged edges and the words "Groan Zone" scribbled in the middle.

• What is happening: The sheer volume of diverse ideas creates cognitive overload. Participants realize that the old ways won't work and that they must move toward "transformation". They are trying to integrate conflicting worldviews, languages, and constraints.

• The dynamic: This feels "jagged" like the drawing. It is characterized by repetition, misunderstanding, and frustration. It can be "uncomfortable," but remember: "if all sessions are ‘safe’ the training [or partnership] is probably having very little impact".

• The Collaboration Guide’s Role: This is where you earn your keep.

  • Hold the space: Create a "safe enough" environment for participants to take the necessary "risk" of stepping out of their comfort zones.

  • Deep Listening: Shift the group into "active listening" mode, ensuring they hear "both the spoken and the unspoken".

  • Challenge: Be prepared to "challenge participants’ assumptions and frameworks" to help them look beneath the surface.

3. The Convergent Zone: Narrowing Down

The Solution Phase: Once the group has struggled through the friction of the Groan Zone, the diamond begins to narrow on the right side. This is the "Convergent" phase.

• What is happening: The group begins to filter, sort, and synthesize the ideas. Because they have done the hard work of wrestling with their differences in the middle, they are now "creating new knowledge" rather than just accepting a top-down directive.

• The dynamic: The energy shifts from frustration to momentum. Clarity emerges. The group moves toward a shared "Solution (and maybe more questions)".

• The Collaboration Guide’s Role: Facilitate the decision-making. Help the group crystallize their "transformation" into actionable plans. Use "reflective practice" to look back at the process and ensure the solution is robust and truly shared.

Why This Matters

The "Groan Zone" isn't a bug in the system; it's a feature. It is the crucible where polite agreement is burned away to reveal deep, resilient trust.

If we try to avoid this zone, or if every session feels perfectly safe and comfortable, the collaboration is likely having very little actual impact. As a collaboration guide, your willingness to hold the space during this "uncomfortable" phase is what allows the group to move from superficial politeness to genuine transformation. The mess isn't the enemy; it is the only way through.

The Moment Collaboration Gets Real (and Messy)

The Moment Collaboration Gets Real ( and Messy)

The "Honeymoon Phase" is a Trap

You know exactly what those first few partnership meetings feel like.

Every one is excited and on their absolute best behaviour. There is a lot of enthusiastic nodding. The air is thick with possibility. You look around the table and think, “Wow, we are really going to change things together.”

It feels easy. It feels promising.

But here is the hard truth: If your partnership stays in this polite, pleasant phase, it is doomed to fail.

If you want to create something real, the honeymoon has to end. And what comes next is going to feel like things are falling apart. Yet, it’s actually the moment partners start coming together.

The Moment the Vibe Shifts

There is a distinct moment in every serious collaboration where the temperature in the room drops.

The collective “We” suddenly fractures back into a room full of individual “Me’s.” You can see it happen. Someone start doing the mental math: “Wait a minute. If I commit my team’s time and money to this, I need to make sure my needs are met.”

Suddenly, the politeness evaporates. People stop nodding and start negotiating. The smooth sailing hits the rocks.

The Groan Zone

Facilitator Sam Kaner calls this The Groan Zone. It is that agonizing phase where different worldviews crash into each other. It feels chaotic. It feels tense. (Learn more at the Groan Zone blog.)

When this happens, many partners panic. They assume the collaboration is broken because the initial harmony is gone. They are wrong.

Self-Interest is Not Betrayal

If you want to be a better partner, you need to fundamentally change how you view self-interest.

We are often taught that collaboration requires self-sacrifice. We think that advocating for our own needs is “selfish” or goes against the spirit of the group.

But consider the alternative: If a partner doesn’t fight for what they need, they won’t stay at the table. A shared goal that doesn’t actually help the individual partners isn’t sustainable, it’s just a nice idea.

The shift from polite nodding to “Here is what I need” isn’t a betrayal of the collaboration; it is the fuel for it.

Real transformation doesn’t happen when we are just being nice to each other. It happens when we grapple with our differences. The Groan Zone is simply the sound of diversity finally being put on the table.

Stop Building "Safe" Spaces

We talk a lot about creating "safe spaces" in partnerships. But if a space is too safe, too comfortable, too polite, it usually lacks impact.

See Brave Spaces Blog

Don't build a safe space. Build a Brave Space. (Learn more at the Brave Space Blog)

A brave space is only "safe enough" for people to take risks. It is an environment where friction is expected. Trust isn’t built in the early days when everyone agrees on the vision. Trust is built in the Groan Zone, when you look a partner in the eye, disagree with them, and commit to figuring it out anyway.

How to Navigate the Mess

So, how do you lead when the politeness wears off and the real work begins?

1. Invite the "Me" into the "We": Don't wait for partners to get frustrated and demand things. Invite their self-interest early. Ask explicitly: "What does your organization need to get out of this to call it a win?" By engaging with their individual needs immediately, you validate them. You show them that their success is part of the collective success.

2. Be an Active Listener: When a partner stops being polite and starts being demanding, the room usually gets defensive. Resist that urge. When someone is digging their heels in, look beneath the surface. They aren't trying to sabotage the project; they are protecting something they value. Listen to the need behind the demand.

3. High-Five the Friction: When the groaning starts and the arguments begin, don't panic. Congratulate the room. Remind them: "This tension feels bad, but it’s good news. It means we are done with the superficial stuff and we are finally doing the real work."

The transition from polite thoughtfulness to assertive self-interest is bumpy. It’s uncomfortable. But it is the only doorway to a partnership that actually works.

Practical Application: A Simple Mindset Shift Exercise

One of the most powerful and practical ways to shift your mindset toward a more collaborative one is through a simple daily practice called "Collaborative Re-Framing." This technique is designed to move you from a scarcity, fixed, or negative mindset to one of abundance, growth, and positivity.

Read my blog, Fountains Vs Drain: Two Mindsets to Make or Break a Collaboration first and then try this technique:

At the end of each day, take 5-10 minutes to reflect on your interactions. Don't just think about what happened; actively re-examine them through a new lens.

1. Identify a "Drain" Moment: Think of one interaction or challenge from your day that felt like a "drain"—a moment of conflict, a project roadblock, or a time you felt frustrated.

2. Analyze the Mindset: Ask yourself: What mindset was guiding me or the team in that moment?

   • Scarcity? (Was I worried about who would get credit or resources?)

   • Fixed? (Did I think, "This is impossible," or, "I'm just not good at this?")

   • Negative? (Did I immediately focus on what was wrong instead of what could be right?)

3. Re-Frame it as a "Fountain" Moment: Now, rewrite the narrative. How could you have approached that same situation with an abundance, growth, or positive mindset?

   • Instead of scarcity: "How can we share resources to make this project stronger for everyone?"

   • Instead of fixed: "What can we learn from this setback that will help us solve the problem?"

   • Instead of negative: "What's one small step we can take to move forward, and what positive outcome might that lead to?"

By consistently re-framing your experiences, you're training your brain to seek collaborative opportunities and solutions. This isn't about ignoring problems; it's about conditioning your mind to see challenges not as threats, but as opportunities to build stronger partnerships and better outcomes.

Fountains vs. Drains: Two Mindsets To Make or Break a Collaboration

I’ve been working in collaborations for over four decades, and in that time, I’ve seen some incredible successes and some frustrating failures. The common thread that separates the two is usually never just about resources, strategy, or even raw talent. It’s often about attitude and mindset.

Think about a collaboration you’ve been a part of. What was the energy like? Was it a group of people pulling together, sharing ideas freely, and celebrating small wins? Or was it a constant battle for attention and resources, bogged down by complaints and a sense of scarcity?

This is where the idea of fountains vs. drains comes in, and it's a powerful lens through which to view any collaborative effort.

Fountains are those invaluable team members who grow the pie. They don't just focus on their piece; they look for ways to make the whole pie bigger, so everyone benefits. They lift others up, offering a word of encouragement, a helpful suggestion, or a hand with a difficult task. When a problem arises, they’re the first to offer solutions, not just point out what’s wrong. They give freely of their time and expertise, understanding that their generosity is an investment in the group's shared success. Above all, they have a positive attitude, seeing challenges as opportunities and setbacks as temporary hurdles. Fountains are people who have growth, abundance and positive mindsets.

On the other hand, drains do the opposite, they have fixed mindsets, see scarcity and live in the negative. They complain about everything—the timeline, the budget, the lack of support. They are focused on grabbing their slice, always concerned with what they can get for themselves, often at the expense of others. Their mindset is defined by "what’s in it for me?" They are constantly taking, whether it's credit for an idea or more than their fair share of resources. Their negative attitude creates a downward pull, sapping the energy and enthusiasm from the room.

A collaboration with more fountains than drains is a powerful force. It becomes a virtuous cycle where positive energy, creativity, and mutual support build on each other. When people feel safe to share ideas and know their contributions are valued, they are more engaged and innovative. The team becomes more resilient, capable of overcoming unexpected obstacles because they trust each other.

Conversely, a team with too many drains will struggle, no matter how good the initial idea or plan. Their negativity and self-interest create friction, erode trust, and stifle creativity. The collaboration becomes a zero-sum game, and everyone loses in the end.

Cultivating a Fountain Mindset

The great news is that being a fountain isn't a personality trait you're born with; it’s a mindset you can cultivate through conscious practice. It starts with a vital dose of self-awareness. When you enter a meeting or a new project, take a moment to reflect on your default behaviour. Are you the one offering solutions or just pointing out problems? Are you celebrating a partner's success or secretly viewing it as a threat to your own? Recognizing your patterns is the most crucial step.

Once you’ve identified where you tend to fall, be intentional about your actions. Practice catching yourself before you complain, and instead, re-frame that thought into a potential solution. For example, instead of thinking, "This timeline is impossible," ask, "How might we adjust our approach to meet this deadline more effectively?"

You can also start small. Practice active listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak. The simple act of truly hearing someone out builds respect and trust. Offer a genuine compliment to a colleague on their recent work. These small acts of generosity build momentum.

Think of this as building a muscle. The more you choose to act like a fountain—by offering, uplifting, and contributing—the more natural it becomes. Over time, you’ll find that a positive, collaborative mindset isn't just a strategy for success; it’s a more fulfilling way to work and live. It’s a choice that elevates not just your work, but the work of everyone around you.

So, as you go into your next collaboration, ask yourself: Am I a fountain or a drain?

Two Simple Tools to Strengthen Collaborative Leadership

Collaboration is a powerful force, but it requires intentional effort to thrive. As a leader, your role isn't just about managing tasks; it's about building an environment where trust and shared purpose can flourish. Here are two practical tools you can use right away to deepen your collaborative efforts.

1. Spark Trust with Conversation Starters

Trust isn't a switch you can flip—it's a foundation built through vulnerability and genuine connection. At the start of a partnership or during a regular check-in, try using these prompts to go beyond typical status updates:

• What brought you to this work?

• When have you felt most energized in a collaboration, and why?

• What's something people often misunderstand about your role or organization?

• What do you need from this group to do your best work?

These questions invite personal stories and insights, helping partners see each other as people, not just titles. This simple practice can significantly boost mutual understanding and connection.

2. Use a Self-Check to Lead Intentionally

Leading in a collaboration requires constant self-awareness. Use this quick self-reflection tool to assess how you're showing up and leading within the group:

• Am I listening more than I'm speaking?

• Have I invited others to lead or shape decisions?

• Am I aware of the power I hold and how I use it?

• Do I make space for discomfort and differing opinions?

• Have I built relationships beyond formal meetings?

This self-check isn't about judgment. It's a tool for staying intentional and ensuring you're fostering an environment where everyone can contribute and lead. Consider revisiting these questions quarterly to stay on track.

What Makes Leadership in Collaboration Different—And Why It Matters

Leadership is often associated with hierarchy—clear lines of authority, defined roles, and measurable outcomes. But in collaborations, especially those that cross organizational, sectoral, or cultural boundaries, leadership is a very different practice. It’s less about directing and more about connecting. In these spaces, leadership is not held by one person at the top. Instead, it is shared, fluid, and deeply relational.

At its core, leadership in collaboration is about creating the conditions where people and organizations with different goals, values, and ways of working can come together to pursue something they cannot achieve alone. It’s the art of weaving diverse threads into a common fabric—strong enough to hold differences, flexible enough to evolve.

This kind of leadership differs from traditional organizational leadership in several key ways. First, it often lacks formal authority. Collaborative leaders can’t simply mandate outcomes. Instead, they must lead by influence, trust, and credibility. They spend more time listening than talking. They build alignment through dialogue, not directives. Success comes not from control, but from enabling others to step forward and lead from where they are.

Second, collaborative leadership requires a different mindset. In a single organization, the focus is often on efficiency, performance, and internal priorities. In a collaboration, leaders must think systemically. They need to see beyond their own walls, understand the perspectives of others, and hold space for complexity. There is rarely a clear path, and solutions emerge through experimentation and co-creation.

Because of this, effective collaborative leaders are often bridge-builders. They know how to translate between sectors, resolve tensions, and foster psychological safety so people feel comfortable sharing openly—even when it’s messy or uncomfortable. They invest in relationships as much as in results. They understand that trust is not a soft skill; it’s a strategic asset.

When done well, leadership in collaboration makes a powerful difference. It helps groups move past surface coordination into true partnership. It enables difficult conversations that would otherwise be avoided. It unlocks innovation by drawing on diverse perspectives. And most importantly, it sustains momentum over time—especially when the work is slow, ambiguous, or under pressure.

We often hear that collaboration is hard. It is. But too often, we treat it as a structural problem—a matter of governance, funding, or roles—when at its heart, it’s a leadership challenge. Who steps up? Who brings people together? Who holds the shared vision when things get tough?

That’s why we need to reframe leadership not as a title, but as a set of actions anyone can take to move a group forward. In collaboration, leadership is not about being in charge—it’s about being in service to the shared purpose.

In a world of complex challenges—climate change, social inequities, economic disruption—collaborative leadership is no longer optional. It’s essential. And it starts with those willing to lead across differences, in the spaces between organizations, for the good of the whole.

Navigating Partnership Challenges: Introducing the Cynefin Framework

Partnerships, while incredibly powerful vehicles for shared success, are rarely without their bumps in the road. Challenges are not just common; they are an inherent and expected part of any collaborative journey.  This is a result of the convergence of different organizations, cultures, and objectives. The true measure of a successful partnership isn't the absence of problems, but rather how effectively those challenges are identified, understood, and addressed.

This brief blog will introduce you to the Cynefin Framework.  To truly unlock its power and usefulness in cultivating stronger partnerships, join our Fall 2025 Partnership Brokers Training course.   You'll gain deeper understanding and practical experience applying this vital model to your partnership challenges.  To learn more and register: https://jsdaw.com/training

The Cynefin Framework: A Smarter Way to Navigate Partnership Challenges

Most of us are familiar with traditional problem-solving: define the issue, analyze its root causes, plan a solution, implement, and review. This linear, step-by-step approach works beautifully for routine, well-defined problems where cause and effect are clear and predictable—think of it like following a recipe.

However, partnerships are rarely that straightforward. You’re dealing with multiple organizations, different cultures, varying objectives, and external factors that constantly shift. Trying to apply a rigid, "best practices" mindset to every partnership challenge is like using a hammer when you need a wrench—it simply doesn't fit.

This is where the Cynefin Framework, a sense-making model developed by Dave Snowden, offers a powerful, nuanced, and highly effective approach. It moves beyond the one-size-fits-all mentality by categorizing challenges into five distinct domains, each demanding a different response.

What are Cynefin's Five Domains?

At its core, Cynefin (pronounced "ku-NEV-in," a Welsh word for habitat or place of multiple belongings) distinguishes between five domains of challenges in a system:

• Clear (Obvious): These are challenges with clear cause-and-effect, where best practices are evident, and solutions are straightforward. Think of routine, well-defined tasks within a partnership. Sense, categorize, and respond.

• Complicated: Here cause-and-effect relationships exist but aren’t immediately obvious. Expertise is required to analyze the situation, diagnose the problem, and apply good practices. Sense, analyze, and respond.

• Complex: This is where the framework truly shines to help address complex challenges. In complex systems, cause-and-effect relationships can only be perceived in retrospect. There are no "right" answers, only emergent patterns. This domain is characterized by unpredictability and the need for experimentation. Probe, sense, and respond.

• Chaotic: This domain describes situations of extreme turbulence and unpredictability, where cause-and-effect relationships are unclear and constantly shifting. Immediate action is needed to establish order, followed by sensing for emergent patterns. Act, sense, and respond.

• Confsuion: This is the state of not knowing which domain you're in. Without a clear understanding of the situation, an inappropriate response is likely.

Why Apply Cynefin to Partnership Work?

Implementing the Cynefin Framework in your partnership work involves a shift in mindset and a practical application of its principles. It can help:

• Improve Decision-Making: By accurately identifying the challenge domain partners can adopt the most appropriate decision-making approach.

• Enhance Communication and Understanding: The framework provides a shared language for discussing challenges.

• Build Greater Adaptability and Resilience: Partnerships are better equipped to adapt to unforeseen circumstances.

• Optimize Resource Allocation: Understanding the nature of a problem allows for more effective allocation of resources.

• Proactively Manage Risk: Partners can proactively identify potential areas of complexity or chaos to build resilience into their collaborative structures.

Moving Beyond "One Size Fits All"

By intentionally applying the Cynefin Framework, partners can move beyond simplistic views of their collaborations. They can build more robust, adaptable, and ultimately more successful partnerships, navigating the inherent uncertainties of collaboration with greater clarity and confidence.

In our next blog we’ll look about how partners might integrate the Cynefin Framework to approach their toughest challenges.  Want to gain practical experience applying this vital model to your partnership challenges?  Join our Fall 2025 partnerships training to learn more and how to apply to your partnership work.  Explore and register: https://jsdaw.com/training

Navigating Brave Spaces with Wisdom: Socrate's Three Gates

In a recent blog, we explored the immense value that embracing "brave spaces" can bring to partnerships. What does this mean? Simply put, a brave space is an environment where individuals feel encouraged to step outside their comfort zones, share potentially vulnerable perspectives, and engage in dialogue about challenging or sensitive topics in the partnership. It's about fostering a culture of mutual respect and a willingness to lean into discomfort for the sake of growth and deeper understanding.

However, the power of a brave space lies not just in its creation, but in how effectively we navigate it. Sharing thoughts and feelings, especially when they are dissenting or challenging, requires careful consideration. This is where the wisdom of the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates and his "Three Gates" concept offers a remarkably simple yet profound framework for making our contributions within a brave space truly impactful.

Imagine your words having to pass through three metaphorical gates before they are spoken. Socrates proposed these three crucial questions to ask ourselves:

The Gate of Truth: Is what I am about to say true? Have I verified the facts? Am I speaking from a place of honesty and accuracy, or am I relying on hearsay, assumptions, or my own biases?

The Gate of Goodness: Is what I am about to say good? Will it contribute positively to the conversation? Is my intention to build understanding, offer constructive feedback, or move the partnership forward? Or is it rooted in negativity, criticism, or a desire to be "right" at the expense of others?

The Gate of Usefulness: Is what I am about to say useful? Will it be relevant to the discussion at hand? Will it offer a new perspective, a helpful suggestion, or a valuable insight? Or is it simply adding noise, rehashing old ground, or distracting from the core issues?

Rumi, a Persian poet quoting Socrates

Why is this simple three-gate approach so vital in a brave space? Because it encourages mindful communication. By pausing to consider our words through these three filters, we are more likely to share thoughts that are grounded in reality, contribute to a positive environment, and offer genuine value to the partnership. This isn't about self-censorship in a way that stifles important dialogue. Rather, it's about cultivating intentionality in our communication, ensuring that our contributions are thoughtful and constructive, even when addressing difficult subjects.

The beauty of the Three Gates is its accessibility. It doesn't require complex frameworks or lengthy training. It's a readily available mental checklist we can employ in the moment, fostering a culture of considerate communication within the brave space.

Ultimately, the goal of engaging in brave space conversations in a partnership is to foster growth and strengthen the partnership. We want to leave meetings having addressed important issues, not with lingering resentment, blame, or unresolved conflict. By consciously applying the reflective lens of Socrates Three Gates, we increase the likelihood of our contributions being received constructively by the partners. We can raise challenging topics with greater clarity and less emotional charge, fostering a space where reflection and understanding can flourish. This approach allows us to harness the power of brave spaces to drive meaningful progress, deepen the partnership, and leave the conversation with a sense of having navigated difficult terrain thoughtfully and productively. Read Navigating the Partnership Frontier: From Space Spaces to Brave Spaces.

Ready to take your partnership work to the next level? Unlock the power of effective collaboration. Join the highly acclaimed Partnership Brokers Training course and gain the skills to forge stronger, more impactful alliances. Invest in your partnership success – sign up today!

Unlocking Public Private Partnerships (PPP): Stories from the Front Line

Public-Private Partnerships (PPPs) are often touted as powerful engines for socio-economic progress, holding the promise of innovative solutions and shared prosperity for communities. Yet, the path from aspiration to tangible impact is rarely smooth. All too often, the lofty expectations surrounding PPPs encounter the complexities of real-world implementation, falling short of their envisioned potential.

So, what bridges this gap between promise and reality? The answer lies in the dedication and expertise of individuals working tirelessly on the front lines of these partnerships. These are the unsung heroes who understand that true transformation hinges on a meticulous and thoughtful approach to the partnership process itself.

Think of them as trail guides in a complex landscape. They possess the foresight to ask the crucial questions that keep the project on track. They offer unwavering support to navigate challenges and ensure effective collaboration. They are skilled communicators, translating complex information into clear and understandable terms for all stakeholders. Crucially, they foster a culture of accountability, providing both the encouragement and the necessary challenge to keep everyone focused on the shared goals.

"Stories from the Front Lines" aims to shine a light on these pivotal individuals. Through their experiences, we'll explore the practical strategies, the critical insights, and the unwavering commitment that transform PPP ideals into tangible benefits for people and communities. Join us as we delve into these real-world narratives and uncover the human element that truly drives successful and impactful Public-Private Partnerships. Read the report!