Overwhelming. Stressful. Uncertain. Passion. Hope. Change. These were the words used to describe 2020 that reflect both the profound challenge of the year, and the powerful hope that positive transformations will come out of it.
Although the path forward into 2021 may feel uncertain, one thing has never been clearer: to change the trajectory for the better, we must come together, collaborate, and form genuine partnerships. These efforts will support each other and leverage our joint strengths to co-create a more just, inclusive, and sustainable future that we all can share.
But this will not be a simple, straightforward journey. To achieve this, we are going to need PARTNERSHIP HEROES. Heroes who will help us deliver ambitious, stronger, and more systemic societal change versus simply transactional or adaptive program or issues improvements of so many current partnerships.
Partnership heroes are champions, doing the hard work to bring the strength of two or more diverse groups together. They even bring their own secret weapons to everything they do: RESPECT AND COMPASSION.
Philosopher Joseph Campbell tells us, “A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.”
Tennis great, Arthur Ashe adds, “True heroism is remarkably sober, thoughtful. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.”
Happy people have partnership projects. But partnership heroes lead partnership quests beyond their own interests, in search of a better life for all.
Anyone can become a hero – on purpose or by accident. But either path involves a challenging journey and necessary evolution on the way to greatness. Each hero is different, but they all share four key character traits.
#1. Move forward in the face of fear to realism beyond emotion
Partnering is a new way of working and it takes time to understand and adapt to what is required in terms of attitudes and behaviours. In partnerships our greatest fear is the unknown. If we are genuinely working for systemic change, not addressing issues change, this requires the courage to walk through the fear door, move beyond emotions to a more realistic vision of what will be required!
Courageously enter the unknown: Heroes are ordinary people in the ordinary world. Often, they are initially afraid and refuse the call. But with guidance (training and/or mentorship) and encouragement they overcome their fears, cross the threshold of fear, and commit to the partnering journey with realism and integrity.
#2. See challenges as fuel for their growth and insights
Partnerships are hard work and having only a shared goal is not enough. Partners will come from different backgrounds or cultures, with different expectations and ways of doing things. Partnering is challenging work. Partnership heroes are not naïve about the challenges. They willingly listen to different perspectives, acknowledge challenges and step in to solve or manage them rather than ignoring or smoothing them away. Partnership heroes know that action is as important as vision.
Overcome adversity and celebrate scars: Along the way, heroes are tested, meeting both allies and enemies, and confronting challenges to truly prove their mettle. These ordeals force them to face their worst fears and move forward regardless. The courageous among us KNOW that you can’t go on an unknown journey without receiving some scrapes and wounds. It’s part of the experience and learning – part of the great adventure. The courageous wear battle scars like badges of honour.
Become antifragile: Partnership heroes know difficulties along the way make the partnership stronger and are fuel for growth. In building anti-fragile partnerships weakness and lack of courage is overcome. (See building antifragile partnerships.)
Build confidence: By working through their partnership challenges, listening and building confidence as they deal with the candid comments and insights of their partners. Then heroes cultivate confidence in themselves and those around them, knowing they’ve all got what it takes to deal with whatever arises. This intense confidence cannot be faked, it is earned by learning from the smallest to the largest challenges – moment by moment by moment.
#3. Take responsibility as heroes, not victims
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor Frankl
Heroes share a willingness to carefully, thoughtfully, reflectively make optimal decisions along the way – often with the advice and insights of others as well as from their own experiences. They understand that there is a gap between an event (stimulus) and the response. In that gap lies their freedom to determine the right choice and path forward for the partnership. They take the time and chose to be heroes of the partnership, not victims of a poor decision.
#4. Bring heroic stamina, respect and compassion
Any person who is willing to go on a hero’s partnership journey must have stamina to see it through. When? Every day, moment by moment. There will be opportunities and challenges – times when one can step back into safety or choose to be heroes and step into growth.
But stamina must be matched by each hero’s secret weapons: RESPECT and COMPASSION. The hero is not the “super-human” of comic books. It is their very humanity and humility which gives them their strength.
Christopher McDougall tells us in “Natural Born Heroes” that heroes aren’t perfect; with a god as one parent and a mortal as the other. They are perpetually teetering between two destinies. What tips them toward greatness is a sidekick, a human connection that helps build their power of respect and compassion. This becomes a source of strength, not softness; the more you recognize yourself in others and connect with their distress, the more endurance, wisdom, and determination you will gain.
In 2021, can we become heroes in service to our communities? Can we truly embrace the idea of partnership, move courageously together and seek new solutions that provide richer, deeper results for our shared intractable problems? We must!
Modern hērōs unite, and let’s do this – today, together!!
¹Thanks to Brian Johnson and the Optimize team for the inspiration and wisdom for this blog!