So often in partnerships we think that our success will be depend on one defining moment – a big win that changes everything. We often convince ourselves that massive success requires massive action. Then we put pressure on ourselves to make some earth-shattering improvement that everyone will talk about. In so doing, we underestimate the value of making small habit improvements and bringing them to life daily.
“Small positive habits don’t add up. They compound. That’s their power. Tiny changes. Remarkable results.” Say James Clear in his ground-breaking book, Atomic Habits. So, what simple habit changes can you make to improve your partnership work? Define your partnership identity – who you will be at your partnership best self!
Make A Habit of Creating A Best “Partner” You.
“Identity change” is the North Star of a small change. Start with who – WHO are you at your partnership best? As Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” This simple but hard truth is at the core of successful partnerships.
Be a Partnership Architect?
In partnerships, few people take the time to define who they will be in their partnership. Who they are will determine how they will show up and act as they go through the partnering journey? How do you understand who you are and how you can be at your partnership best self?
The traditional approach is a reactive and is driven by how you feel about the partnership. Feelings then drive behaviour which in turn defines your identity in the partnership. For good or often for bad. The breakthrough approach establishes you as a proactive architect and creator. As a creator, you define your partnership Identity. Simply put, this means intentionally determining who you will be at your partnership best. Defining habits that you will intentionally develop in order to be at your best.
For example, you commit to spending the time and effort needed to successfully partner; to creating win-win-win ensuring all the partners achieve their goals and have their constraints respected. This intentional identify will drive your behaviour, how you will act, which turn will drive how you feel about the partnership and how others will feel about you. This creator approach puts identity over feelings and sets up the possibility of creating a stronger partnership for all.
Create your Partnership Best – Create Your New Habits
So how do you go about creating the small habits that will help you be at your partnership best?
Define your partnership identity. Consider who you are, your strengths and values and define the aspirational partner that will help you become best version of your partnership self . Your strengths and values form your identity, drive your behaviour and establish your identity. Then dream (your partnership best-self vision) that you can live them, and make every effort to do them (action)!
Embody the “new partnership YOU” by determining what will you keep doing, started doing, and stop doing. Intentionality is key. What habits will you install? What habits will you delete?
Behaviour is what brings your vision to life. Micro-actions over time will help you implement and bring your new partner identify to life.
Now, get to work and enjoy the process of becoming the new best partnership you – but know it is never ending journey. Perfection is not possible, after all we are humans! But by paying attention to the new small habit, you improve daily. As Atomic Habit’s author James Clear notes, “... improving 1 percent isn’t particularly notable—sometimes it isn’t even noticeable— but it can be far more meaningful, especially in the long run than one big, massive success. The difference a tiny improvement can make over time is astounding.”
Have compassion for yourself – as you work through the obstacle course that a partnership be kind and have compassion for yourself! Your new partnership identity isn’t going to happen overnight. You will inevitably slip back but that is no reason to stop trying. Reflect on what worked and didn’t’ work and get back to work. When? Today.
Try it and let us know how you defined your partnership best self!